People used to think that different forms of art have different levels of importance and they (이걸 넣어야 헷갈리지 않을 것 같네요.) often limited the role of films in entertaining entertainment. However, it was a wrong assumption, and they now believe that any films can equally be treated as many other forms of art such as literature and painting. Personally, I also agree with this idea and will discuss the reasons in this essay.
Absolutely, many people in the contemporary society tend to expect more from films, and as a result, the next big thing in art has usually appeared in the film industry. Literature and painting use only language and image and are often categorised in classics and thus have value in the long term. However, films are given more freedom of expression as their sounds and special effects are now better supported by the advanced technology, so there are more chances to gain popularity and importance.
Occasionally, many short films in particular could be considered to be important as they were allowed to deliver important messages to the public by changing its own forms and genres to reach them. Some documentary films can give their audiences an impression only with still images of the scenes in the movie, and this can have the same impact as paintings. Also, the written narration in the movie can act the same as literature.
By and large, films, literature and painting have no difference in their significance. Many people go to the cinema, library and museum and enjoy the same arts without thinking of its forms and have enjoy (당연히 필수는 아니고, 건드릴 게 너무 없어서 이거라도 바꿔봤습니다.) the similar experiences that arts in general can give them.
Total Score: 8.0/9
TR (Task Response): 7/9
CC (Coherence and Cohesion): 8/9
LR (Lexical Resource): 8/9
GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy): 8/9
Comment: 잘 써주셨습니다. 이번 논제의 경우 예시를 활용하기 꽤 좋은 편인데, 여건이 되시면 그렇게 해보시는 것도 괜찮을 거에요.
수고하셨습니다 :)