Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in rural areas. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that living in urban areas is the best choice for lives. However, others assert that suburbs are the better options. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of views and present my opinion.
On the one hand, cities are the preferable places for some people. This is because many prestige (얘는 명사고, 형용사로 적어주셔야 합니다. emile님 실력이면 알아서 잘 바꾸실 거라 따로 건드리지는 않겠습니다.) universities as well as headquarters of big companies are located in cities, thus it could enable people to have better chances of high-education or job opportunities that are the critical factors to live in modern society. Furthermore, it is true that city lives would allow people to enjoy a lot of infrastructures such as abundant medical facilities, convenient public transportations and diverse cultural spaces. Accordingly, those people who pursue better chances of lives as well as upgraded life styles might be attracted by city lives.
On the other hand (emile님 실력이면 on the one/other hand의 뻔한 구조를 쓰지 않더라도 글을 잘 만드실 수 있을 겁니다.), the life in suburbs
could be beneficial in many ways. This is because rural areas have lower density
of population compared to cities, therefore people could enjoy the advantages such as
less noise noisy as well as traffic, and the clear air quality that would be helpful
to enhance people’s health condition. In addition, thanks to the relatively
cheap living costs and property prices, those who cannot afford or who are tired
of paying such high costs of living in urban areas, suburbs could be an adequate
choice. In this regard, for those people who prefer to live healthier or
economically, rural areas could be appealing.
In conclusion, it is apparent that living cities as well as suburbs have their own advantages. Therefore, people should choose proper places based on their desires or financial capacities.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
큰 틀에서는 잘 써주시긴 했는데, 사실 본론2의 for 같은 거는 emile님 실력이면 반드시 맞춰주셨어야 합니다. 이런 뜬금없는 오류를 줄이는데에만 조금 더 신경써주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)