Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits.
Discuss both side and give your opinion.
As time goes by, we are able to visit almost everywhere in the world. In our global nation, there are still some areas preserving their local culture and the discussions of whether tourism should be banned or not in those areas are heatedly debated. The reason for this debate which is because some people believe that tourism influences to lose their local cultural identity, however, others think change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Both sides of opinions sound quite reasonable and I will also state my opinion (바로 앞에 쓰인 단어이므로 가급적이면 대체해주시는 게 좋습니다.) on this issue in the latter part of the essay.
Some people say that it is time for the government to step in and strictly restrict tourism for their local culture. It is reasonable for them to insist on this wise because there are many cases that visitors harm the nature natural environments after they visit such as not taking their rubbish with them. Moreover, a group of tourists can be annoying the locals and there are some people who have a naughty attitude so it can damage their own unique culture while they travel and bother local residents.
On the other hand, they others believe that change is inevitable over the years especially in these fast-changing days and there are more benefits when they have a high number of tourists in their area as indeed it is. Tourism can help the local economy to be more active and it might induce their local culture to be united and become a new another type of fusion cultures such as give giving them a chance to make a cross-culture fusion food such as bulgogi pizza or rice burger in Korea.
Lastly, in my opinion, I also don’t (줄임말은 풀어써주셔야 합니다.) think banning tourism is the best solution we can make because there are still many advantages by accepting visitors to our country and I believe it helps our society to grow up more and be further developed. Whereas it is possible that tourism can harm the local culture, however, banning tourism just because of preventing the culture is a stupid thing which can be easily replaced by the government’s control of the number of tourists and defining strict rule on them. Therefore, I highly recommend we should not give up many benefits for our society and allow the tourists to come to our country in succession.
처음으로 게시판에 글 써보는건데 조금 떨리네요ㅜㅜ 감사합니다:)
총평: (7/7/6/7) 7.0
줄임말이나 stupid 등 다소 가벼운 표현들이 있다는 점 정도를 제외하면 처음 치고 이정도면 정~~~말 잘 써주신 편입니다. 물론 task1에서 대부분 학생들이 발목을 잡히는 만큼, 당장 7.0이 보장된다고 확답을 드릴 수는 없지만, 그래도 요령만 잘 익히면 충분히 실전에서도 괜찮을 겁니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)