The table below shows
top ten countries with largest population in 2019, and how it is projected to
change by 2100.
Summarise the information by
selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The chart compares the information on the projected population in 2100 and the population in 2019, (2019를 먼저 언급해주시면 됩니다.) divided into ten countries with the largest population each year.
Overall, it is evident that those of any sector has fluctuated over the 80 years period. For example, the population of China, which was the largest number in 2019, is projected to decrease. On the other hand, India's population is projected to increase in 2100 and will overtake the population of China. (여기의 경우, '비록 순위의 변동은 있지만, 2019년과 같이 2100년에도 중국과 인도가 세계 인구에서 가장 많은 비중을 차지할 것으로 예측된다~' 로 바꿔주시면 됩니다.)
In more detail, particularly, the population of Nigeria shows a significant increase during the approximately 80 years period. Interestingly, the USA's population is projected to increase, but the rank of the USA is predicted to go down, rather than up it would rank down rather than raking up. Unfortunately, the population of Bangladesh, Russia, and Mexico is projected to be out of the top ten countries in 2100. (--> 표에서 사라지는 나라들이 있으면, 들어오는 국가 역시 있을 겁니다. 그걸 언급해주시면 돼요.) The the raking of Pakistan has no difference, ranked at 5th.
(걸린 시간 19분,
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
전반적으로 내용상의 수정을 언급해드렸는데, 적어드린대로 반영해주시면 더 좋은 글이 될 겁니다. 또한, 2100년의 정보를 다룰 때에는 미래시제를 사용해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)