▶ Your Answer :
People have different opinions on whether
governments or individuals should be in charge of protecting the environment
from climate change. In regards to the responsibility, I strongly believe that
both governments and individuals need to try together to keep the global society from
further damage. Otherwise, it cannot be possible to solve the issue efficiently
and rapidly.
To begin with, it is clear that
governments or big companies have poser and budget to run a campaign to encourage
the public. This means that governments should have the responsibility of
advertising the problem, so that people can be aware. 예산이 있는 것과 의무를 지는 것은 인과관계로 연결할 수 없습니다. 정부가 예산을 캠페인에 투자해야 하는 '이유'를 구체적으로 제시해주세요. On top of that, if
governments educate people the appropriate ways to prevent further climate
change, a large population would participate, and we can preserve the
environment most efficiently and rapidly. Therefore, it is very important to
have governments’ work on advertising the problem and educating the public to
prevent further damage.
On the other hand, individuals should try
their best to solve the issue, as their participation can result in a big
change. This is because there are numerous causes of climate change from our
daily lifestyle. According to a research conducted by Korea University, in 2015,
90% of total use of spray products, which is known as a main cause of ozone
layer depletion, was from individual uses. If everyone realizes the severity of
the problem and takes small actions, it is possible to make a big change.
In summary, in my opinion, we are only
able to protect the environment from further damage, when both governments and
individuals work together with their own suitable ways. Thus, government should
be responsible for letting to let people know about the severity, so that individuals can
try small and big steps to resolve the current aforementioned problem. IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 6 competent user
정부가 사람들의 의식을 고양시키고 사람들이 행동을 통해 상황을 개선할 수 있다고 연결한 부분이 좋습니다. 인과관계가 어색한 부분을 다듬고 설명을 더 보완할 수 있는 부분들을 보강해보셔도 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다. ^^ |