This charts represent the reason why citizens in Great Britain entered art museums in 1990 and 2000.
Overall, for both 1990 and 2000, about half
of people who visited museum had their purposes on learning and gaining knowledge. Meanwhile Whereas, the lowest least proportion of people visited museum to buy art pieces. For others,
they had various aims. Most of them used to go to museum to just fill their
travel schedules in 1990. However, in 2000, 18% of visitors who didn’t (줄임말은 풀어써주셔야 합니다.) want to
learn something or buy things went museum to attend a special exhibit.
Looking at the chart more closely, one can see that the percentage of people who wanted to attend a exhibition increased from 12% in 1990 to 18% in 2000. Furthermore, visitors for spending time with their family and friends increased by 5% (여기의 경우도 이전 글에 말씀드린 것처럼 퍼센트포인트를 붙여주셔야 합니다.), from 12% to 17%. However, the rank it recorded was same and it was third. On the on hand, there was a dramatic decline in the proportion of people who visited museum to fill their trip schedules by 15% in 2000 compared to in 1990.
총평: (6/6/7/7) 6.5
문법+어휘가 깔끔한지라 이쪽에서의 점수는 벌어가겠지만, 지금 문단 배분이 잘 된 상황은 아닙니다. Overview는 말 그대로 Overview이기 때문에, 최소한의 길이로 최대한의 효율을 담아 글을 묶어주셔야 하지, 지금처럼 글의 거의 4분의 1을 차지해서는 안 됩니다. 지금 Overview의 내용 중 대부분은 밑의 문단으로 가야하니까 잘 배분해주세요~!
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