첨삭부탁드립니다. 항상 너무 감사드립니다.
some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect. others, think consuming domestic products is better. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Recently, purchasing imported agricultural goods has is a hotly-debated issue. Some some people assert that importing agricultural products makes consumers have benefits. (여기서 엔터를 칠 이유는 따로 없습니다. 이것도 따로 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요!)
However, there is a more persuasive argument that people should purchase domestic agricultural goods to protect a nation's for protecting a nation main industry.
on On the one hand, advantages of importing agricultural products from abroad are that people are able to buy agricultural products at a reasonable price and choose diverse sorts, which are no sale not sold in domestic markets like kiwifruit and mango. (작성하면서 의식하셨겠지만, 이 문단은 대폭 보완이 필요합니다.)
nevertheless Nevertheless, it is important to purchase domestic agricultural goods, which is in decline because agriculture is an important source of livelihood and it contributes to food security of the nation. Take an example of The Philippines, Philippines which is was one of the nations, which has agriculture power in the world. However, Philippines government focuses on other industries more than and their farmlands have been used for it. Therefore, Philippines depends on imported agricultural products seriously. it brings It brought about serious difficulties difficulty of obtaining food when the covid19 spread worldwide and exporting countries made a blockade of their borders.
To sum up, while it apparent that importing items from abroad increases consumer choice, it is undeniable that buying domestic farm products should be our top priority.
총평: (5/6/6/5) 5.5
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수고하셨습니다 :)