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Technological developments have has had a huge impact on consumer activities. This essay will discover the changes in counsumer behavior caused by technological advancements and its benefits.
With advancements of technology, the a growing number of consumers do online shopping as a major way of shopping. This is because Internet shopping is more convenient and cheaper than traditional ways of shopping in many ways. Consumers need to move to go shopping at shops like supermarkets. In contrast, they can purchase products with few clicks on an online shopping mall while staying at home comfortably. Furthermore, the price of products are often less costly on the Internet because operating an online mall requires much less money than running an actual shop. It enables sellers to sell their products at more reasonable prices to people. In fact, over several years, while the retail industry has continuously kept been reduced, the number of online shopping malls has been significantly increased.
In my opinion, the trend towards online shopping have more advantages than that its disadvantages. It is more easy to compare prices between different shops on the Internet since people do not need to move around to check prices. Sometimes, people can even buy goods on foreign countries shopping mall sites where the price is lower than their own countury. For instance, Koreans can get the lastest smart phone at almost two-thirds of the price in Korea on Chinese online shopping malls. These benefits of Internet shopping help consumers to make more reasonable choices.
In conclusion, I think that the benefits of consumer behavior that are in favor of online shopping outweigh its disadvantages in terms of reasonable shopping.
[268단어 / 42분]
시간이 부족해서 단점이 대해서는 아예 못 적어서 두번째 질문에 대한 답변이 충분한지 잘 모르겠네요ㅠㅠ
그리고 혹시 task response나 coherence에 대해서 좀 더 자세한 피드백을 주시면 감사할 것 같습니다. task response랑 coherence의 경우에는 어떤 점이 부족해서 점수가 낮게 나온 건지 스스로 분석하기가 어렵더라구요ㅠㅠ
항상 감사합니다 :)
총평: (7/7/6/6) 6.5
네 스티치님, 두 번째 질문은 장단점을 적는 게 아니라, outweigh를 보이는 게 핵심입니다. 즉, 장점이 단점을 상쇄하는 걸 보여주시면 돼요.
TR은 질문에 대해 얼마나 잘 답변했는지, 일관적인 입장을 유지했는지 등을 고려해서 채점하게 되며, CC에서는 문단을 잘 나눴는지, 문단 간, 문장 간, 문장 내의 연결이 얼마나 매끄러운지 등이 고려됩니다. 예를 들면 각종 접속사는 물론, 본론2 두 번째 문장의 since같은 친구들 역시 다 고려돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)
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