Travelling
in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree
with this statement?
There are two ways to travel; travel with by a
tour guide or travel alone. There are advantages and disadvantages to travel with a tour guide. Since traveling alone gives is giving more personal time and
flexibility, I think it is a better way than travelling with a tour guide. Some
might claim that traveling with a tour guide will give convenience and safety,
which I believe it is not a big deal. This essay will discuss the advantages of
travelling alone and discuss the disadvantages of travelling in a group.
Because If you travel with by a tour guide,
you must be stayed within a group and that means there is no private time. For
example, when you travel to Italy and let's <(contraction은 안쓰시는게 더 좋습니다) say you have been longing to visit
the Colosseum, but there is no such a plan to visit it colosseum under the tour
guide's schedule, thus, you might not get the chance to see it with a tour guide. In
other words, you have visited Italy but have not visited the places where you
wanted to visit. That means that, you have to plan for another travel to Italy
in the future. Like this, everyone has their dream places in each country but not
able to visit if they travel with a tour guide. Everyone will not get the
satisfactory travelling from the tour guide package because their itinerary changes is
changing every year. Furthermore, if you want to take more time in one place, you
can stay longer when you travel there by yourself. All the plans have been made
according to your time, so it is very flexible. If you think some places are worth
to visit, you can simply fix your schedule to stay longer.
(Need better transition)
Travelling with a tour guide is
definitely convenient for people to save the time in travel scheduling.
Despite its convenience, the missing out of famous attractions that you have
been longing to visit is worth more. <(문맥상 어울리는 문장이 아닙니다) All the relevant services are managed by
the tour guide such as daily schedules, hotel booking, car rental etc, so individuals
just require following the set route by a tour guide. It is very convenient
because individuals have saved the time and effort to manage the whole
travelling schedule. Furthermore, travelling with a group is safer from
becoming a target of criminals. If we make sure not to be a target from the
crimes by giving out private details or the schedules to strangers, then the
chances of risking your life is less. Also, booking for the room at the hotel
and inquiring for the places are the fun part for the travel. By asking people
from the local about the famous places to visit and inquiring about the culture,
you may get more knowledge and indirect experience than that of tour guide's
speech. Asking for the direction and getting a hitch hike are the fun parts and
these are the memorable memories. Travel alone is a better way to enjoy the
attractions than that of with a tour guide. <(문단의 unity가 좋지 않습니다. advantages of traveling with a tour guide를 서술 해주는 것 같다가 갑자기 traveling alone에 대한 좋은 점을 서술 해주셨습니다. 흐름이 어색합니다.)
In conclusion, even though, travelling
with a tour guide is convenience because it saves the time with planning the
travel schedules, there will be lesser private time and flexibility. All the
decisions have to be dependent upon the tour guide's schedule so that will
restrict the individuals' movement. Therefore, I believe that traveling alone is a
better way than with a tour guide.
Score: 6
Comment: 질문에 대한 같은 좋으나 전체적으로 organization이 필요한 에세이입니다. 또한 내용을 조금 더 summarize 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 일부 내용이 조금 wordy하게 들립니다. 그 외에는 주로 글 안에 있는 코멘트느 문법 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.