Major countries nowadays face traffic problems. Describe the situation in your country and discuss possible ways to overcome it.
Do you strongly believe that there is a lot of traffic problems on our society? (지금은 연설문을 쓰는 과정이 아니기 때문에, 의문형은 따로 쓰지 않는다고 보시면 됩니다.) There has been a controversial issue over whether or not how to solve this problem. Not only do some people claim that most of them are facing the circumstances with a huge problem on using public transportation, but also they point out that commuters and others are concentrated on the specific time to go to work. In my opinion, I would firmly argue that it must be provided an efficient and safe way to fix this situation.
To begin with, it is not strange to say that a majority of people in my country use uses the public transportation because of low price to use and easy to access. Because of this influence, during rush hour, all of the buses and trains are fulled with workers to get to work and students to go to their school. Because of this situation, some workers just drive to work Some of workers drive to work as this situation. Due to advances in technology of cars, however, the users of the vehicles are going to upward dramatically (여기는 어떤 의미로 적어주셨나요? 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.) that is why car incidents on the roads come up with a lot. Furthermore, this happening is not a simple and straightforward problems anymore on our community.
Consequently, our proposals being accepted are accepting on this big social problem. First of all, by extending the number of roads which are used by with a lot of people, they are able to acquire some benefits which are decreasing waste of time on roads and concentration on their work. In addition, according to a recent survey, it is helpful to use a ‘car pool’ system which is drive to work with their coworkers for easing traffic jam. Nowadays, expanding timetable of buses and trains have been implemented for our traffic problems.
In short, both opponents and proponents have debated over this disputable issue and both sides seem to have good reasons to support their arguments. Nevertheless, from understanding out social problems about traffic, I would be confident that people and our society will benefit from accepting this occasions and applying these efficient solutions.
총 343단어
45분 조금 넘었어요
쓰다보니 단어수가 넘은 줄 몰랐어요 시간도 같이 넘어가니 단어수를 조금 줄이려고요ㅠㅠ
문제는 주제를 보면 어떻게 써내려야할지 감은 잡히는데
무엇을 써내려가야할지는 생각이 안나서 아이디어 생각하는데에 시간을 많이 쓰는거같아요
단어수는 최소치의 제한은 있지만, 최대치의 제한 자체는 없습니다. 단, 99%의 학생들은 길게 쓰면 곧 문법 오류가 많아지거나 논리 오류가 생기기 때문에 길게 쓰는 걸 권장드리지 않는다고 보시면 됩니다.
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
mjkk님의 경우 task2를 훨씬 더 잘하시네요~물론 대다수의 학생들이 task1을 더 못쓰긴 하지만, mjkk님의 경우 그 갭이 조금 더 큰 편입니다. task2는 몇 개의 요령만 챙겨주시면 괜찮을 거고, task1에서 구조만 안정적으로 잡히면 6.0은 물론 6.5도 충분히 받으실 겁니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)
+시간은 알아서 잘 줄여주세요!