Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However, many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise?
Although many doctors encourage elderly people to work out on a regular basis, most of them do not make an effort to increase physical abilities. There are several reasons and some solutions for this statement.
It is common for the elderly people to be reluctant to
exercise from time to time, and there are two reasons. Firstly, most people near or above the of
retirement age tend to be afraid about getting injured. For instance, in some
developing countries, it is no surprise that people older than 70 years old
cannot insure, and even only limited people receive a pension. For this reason,
they just spend time, doing some relatively safe activities activity like gardening and landscaping.
At the same time, this kind of people’s physical ability wouldn’t (줄임말은 풀어써주세요!) be the same
as before. This means that if they get a spine and leg injury during working
out, they are expected to spend time in a ward for a long time than young
adults since their resilience are not that outstanding.
In spite of several causes mentioned above, there are
some solutions that could be taken steps by governments and individuals to
encourage the elderly people to work out. First of all, governments need to
increase the number of infrastructures like city parks or well-organized foot
trails. To take my grandfather as an example, after some foot tails have been
constructed near his neighborhood, he always make it a habit to do walkathon
every morning. In addition to this, the whole member of family ought to
exercise with elderly relatives to induce them to work out more because they
are likely to forgo exercise if they do not feel any sense of enjoyment. (두 본론의 수정에 대해서는 밑에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
In conclusion, although there are some reasons why the elderly people do not want to work out, various measures can be taken to tackle this problem.
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1. 6.5 점이 목표입니다
2. 60분 타이머제고 테스크 1이랑 2 다쓰려고 노렸했어요. 분량 조절 실패로 1분 정도 시간 오바 났습니다 ㅠ 다음엔 60분안에 작성하도록 노력 하겠습니다!
3.10월 10일 시험입니다!
총평: (6/7/7/7) 7.0
당연히 6.5는 넘기는데, 보다 안정적인 7.0을 위해서 한 가지만 짚고 넘어가시면 좋을 겁니다. 원인-해결 유형에서는 원인과 해결책을 대응시키는 것이 핵심입니다. 즉, 주어진 해결책이 원인을 직접적으로 극복할 수 있어야 하는 것이죠.
지금 제시해주신 원인과 해결책은, 개개로 놓고 보면 충분히 일리있습니다. 단, 둘이 따로 놀고 있다는 점이 문제이죠. 원인을 해결책에 맞추든, 해결책을 원인에 맞추든 해서 통일해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)