task 2 off topic으로 다시 써보았습니다.
첨삭 부탁드려요! 257자이고 40분 걸렸습니다.
감사합니다!
Many students in some countries study hard to get high score at exams. Even some of them reduces their leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. There are several reasons that they have to get high scores.
First, most students go to universities after secondary school, and the universities admit only a few students who meet their certain criterias. It seemingly can be thought fair, however it is not. Many students have different potentials such as an artistic or a physical abilities. These abilities cannot be judged by general subjects such as mathematics or science. Eventually, judging students by scores is certainly not fair for every single students. It ignores students’ potentials. Likewise, when they apply to occupations, they are also judged by scores achieved in universities. It deteriorates the students’ stresses on their studies. For these reasons, the students are obsessed in their studies.
To resolve these problems, universities need to check various aspects of their candidates. They are prone to select them by certain criterias which are only related to candidates’ school work. Also, the companies need to focus on what the candidates achieved in their universities. They would attain prizes which are not related to the majors. Therefore, they are not be under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
To summarize, to release the students from their hard work, interviewers in the universities and the enterprises should consider candidates’ various potentials.