<문제>
Consumer behavior has changed considerably in recent years due to technology. In what ways does technology affect consumer activities such as shopping? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
<답>
it It is true that technology has changed consumer behavior in several ways. In general, this is a positive changes as it settles constraints of time and place.
(제가 나눠드린 것처럼, 문단을 구분할 때에는 엔터키를 두 번 쳐주시면 됩니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요!)
on top of that To begin with, development of e-commerce payment system has had an affect in the have affected reduction of shopping time positively. for For instance, people had to should go to the bank in person or use a complicated online bank system to buy their products in the past, however However, nowadays, once people are enrolled in an online bank system, they are able to pay products easily by entering a short password.
For the most part, it is apparent that the benefits of changes in consumer behavior as a result of technology outweigh any potential disadvantages. This is because they have made consumer activities more efficient and convenient while allowing shoppers to make a purchase without constraints of time and space.
To sum up, technological advances have made it useful to purchase products. Therefore, it is evident that these advances are a worthwhile development for consumers.
총평: (6/6/7/7) 6.5
표현상 그럭저럭 괜찮았기 때문에 적어도 task2에서 6.5정도는 괜찮을 겁니다. (task1은 전혀 다른 영역입니다.)
대신 엔터키 두 번 치는 것에는 주의해주시고, 냐님의 실력을 고려했을 때 본론1의 on top of that 은 단순 실수일 겁니다. 저런 실수를 최소한으로 줄여주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)