Some people believe that capital punishment should not be used. Others, however, argue that it should be allowed for the most serious crimes.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different perspectives about capital punishment either should not be used whether capital punishment should or should be allowed for some serious crimes like murder. In my opinion, capital punishment should not be used.
On the one hand, all people’s lives are precious, even if it may be a criminal's one is one for criminals like murder. Because all the lives are valuable, murders deserve to die. However, if the victim kill that murder, the victim is no longer the victim and become criminal just like the one who is killed, and it also applies to the law. (살인자는 살인을 한 사람이겠고, 즉 이에 따라 피해자는 사망한 상태입니다. 그런데 여기에서 이미 죽은 피해자가 범인을 죽인다고 하면 말이 안 되는 상황이죠.) Even if they are a serious criminal, their life cannot be judged by other people including themselves. Moreover, they have to pay for their sin until they die naturally, not suicide. Also, innocent life can be killed by misunderstanding and this will not be able to be turned around even if people find out later of the innocence it cannot come back even people know innocent.
On the other hand, some people believe a the strong punishment is needed for serious crime like murder. There is phrase ‘an eyes for an eyes, a tooth for a tooth’. Because murderers Murders took one’s life, their life deserves to be taken by capital punishment from the law. The victim can revenge to the murder with the same way (여기의 경우도 '간접적으로' 라는 표현이 들어가야 하며, 또한 위와 마찬가지로 피해자는 이미 사망한 상태이므로 피해자의 가족 등으로 적는 게 낫습니다.) that murder did to the victim. With this strong punishment, the crime could decrease because most people do not want to die.
In conclusion, it seems to me that capital punishment should not be used even to the serious criminals like murder because it only makes people the same types of person with criminals covered with the word ‘price’ and innocent life can be taken.
총평: (5/6/6/6) 6.0
두 본론 문단 모두 이미 사망한 피해자가 주체적인 행동을 하는 모순되는 문장이 보였기 때문에 제가 말씀드린 간접, 혹은 피해자 가족 등의 표현을 넣어서 말이 되게 바꿔주시면 되겠습니다. 아마 한국어로 쓰셨으면 이런 문제가 생기지는 않았을 건데, 영어로 쓰다보니 아직 약간은 미흡하셔서 그런 것 같네요.
수고하셨습니다 :)