*Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There are many people living in a outside of their home country. Sometimes, they are suffering from the situation as like a couture shock. I agree with the opinion that living in a foreign country can cause serious problems socially as well as practically.
Firstly, people living in a different country have to accept new things take everything like culture, social system, etc. Nevertheless, it is not easy to adapt to that situations. cultural Cultural differences make people more harder when it comes to their daily life. For instance, Drinking drinking alcohol outside is allowed in Korea. However, it is common not to be allowed outside in the most countries. Thus, many Many Koreans make mistakes outside of their home country.
secondly Secondly, people can cause social problems when they do not (줄임말은 풀어써주세요!) don’t get used to settling in new country. Some migrants live in a pool condition. They can not get a good job and then they may give up willingness when they came to foreign country. They can easily find how to live in a as bad way. Bad ways are included in stealing, or joining a in gang. This can cause social problems and harm innocent people.
in a In conclusion, I agree with that living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. This is because migrants make cultural mistakes and it might break the law. Also, people can hurt good people.
-첨삭 항상 감사드립니다. :)
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
(참고로 파란색 단어는 철자 오류가 있는 단어들입니다. 일부러 그냥 둔 거니까 꼭 사전을 찾아서 정확한 철자를 익혀주세요!)
큼지막한 오류가 있는 건 아니지만, 그렇다고 해서 아주 깔끔한 편도 아닙니다. 다른 부분들은 단번에 고치기가 어렵더라도, 대소문자 문제와 철자 문제는 충분히 신경만 쓰면 해결이 가능한 사안이므로, 일단은 이쪽부터 손을 봐주시는 것도 좋을 거에요.
수고하셨습니다 :)