Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Theses days, climate change is become becoming a more and more serious problems. However, some people say that it is a better way to adapt to adapting this environmental than to prevent preventing climate change. I do disagree with this opinion and will represent some reasons.
One the flip side, people assert that the change of climate is not a significant problem it is not significant problems to being changed climate. This is because there are no important issues that they experienced seriously until now, so that they could not know significant problems such as famine or disease. ((((((((((((However What is more, climate change leads to not only increasing the sea level but also being makes it hard to breath by destroying forests. If these phenomena are continued, next generations cannot live on our Earth. ))))))))))) (이 파란 괄호 안에 있는 부분에 관해서는 총평에서 말씀드리겠습니다.)
For protecting To protect the ('~를 위해서' 는 이렇게 간다고 보시면 됩니다.) health environment, people who live in all of the world do effort for our Earth and next generation. Firstly, each government need to impose ‘green taxes’ on divers and to limit carbon dioxide emission level. Secondly, people should try to effort take a bicycle and public transport like bus or subway. Finally, we could vote people who assert preventing our environment. By doing so, we would keep climate. (이 문단도 엉뚱한 내용이 와있기 때문에 싹 다 대체가 필요합니다. 여기에 대해서도 총평에서 말씀드릴게요.)
As a consequence, we would be able to protect our Earth for our children and next generation by charging green taxes and using bike and public transport, and voting politicians who think prevent climate change. For these reasons, I do not agree with mentioned above completely. (결론의 경우 ~하기 때문에 기후변화는 받아들이기보다 prevent 해야한다' 라고 적어주셔야 합니다.)
47분 걸렸습니다.
총평: (5/6/6/5) 5.5
이전 팀플 글처럼 완전한 오프토픽은 아니고, 부분적으로 오프토픽이었다고 보시면 됩니다. 점수에 그렇게까지 큰 영향은 없을 거에요.
주어진 statement에 동의할 경우, 이 글은 '왜' 우리가 환경 문제에 관해 이를 예방해야하는지를 적어주셔야 하지, 그 차단의 방식에 대해서는 요구된 바가 없습니다. 고로 현재 글에서 파란 괄호와 같은 부분을 중점으로 전개해주시면 돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)