1. 라이팅에서의 목표 점수
6.5
2. 다음 시험 날짜, 그리고 위의 점수를 아무리 늦어도 언제까지는 만들어야 하는지
시험본적 없음, 늦어도 21년 2~3월
3. 현재 글을 쓰는데에 몇 분이 걸렸는지+단어 수+외부 도움(모범답안 필사) 등이 있었는지의 여부
42분, 302단어
4. 그 외 제가 알아두면 도움될만한 기타 정보나 현재 학생 여러분들의 공부 상황 등
독학중입니다. 라이팅 1,2 한달정도 목표로 템플릿 및 빈출어휘에 집중하려고 합니다.
It is generally believed that people are becoming increasingly reliant rely on computer-based technology. I do not think it will change in the future. However, I think that depending too much on computers is absolutely not good.
Modern society and technology are becoming more and more dependent on computer-based technology. The reason is because (이렇게 써주셔야 완전한 문장이 됩니다.) Because these technologies are very useful not only for simple calculating but also for solving complicated problems that are closely related to our life. For instance, nowadays by using computers or smartphones, we are able to handle a lot of things including mobile banking, virtual diagnosis, online bill payment and so on. Thankfully, the development of technology has been enriching daily life. In my opinion, as long as people are very aware of the convenience of computer-based technology, they will keep using it and in the future, better technologies will welcome us. (사실 이 앞의 내용보다, 파란색이 훨씬 중요합니다. 오히려 앞을 더 간추리고 미래에 대해 집중해주시는 게 좋아요.)
However, relying too much on computers could cause a lot of serious social issues. Actually, it has already been taking place in terms of human rights. For example, although nobody meant this, many people have experienced the exposure of their personal information and revenge pornos are also one of the big issues all over the world and these kinds of encroachment aimed at unspecified individuals on the Internet internet are occurring by faceless someone. To prevent people from these types of crime, proper laws which are related to the online abusing have to be constituted by national power.
In conclusion., well-developed computer technologies are very useful in present-day life, moreover our future life. (단순히 도움될 것이다~라고 적고 끝내는 게 아니라, 미래에도 유지될 것이다~라고 적어주셔야 합니다.) However, it would be dangerous in terms of personal information that we rely so much on computers.
총평: (6/7/7/7) 7.0
일단 6.5는 무조건 받는 글이므로 크게 걱정하실 필요는 없습니다. 대신, 보다 확실한 7.0을 위해서는 본론1과 결론에 말씀드린 부분을 보완해주시면 좋습니다. 특히 결론과 관련해서, 이 글은 '미래에 어떨 것인지' 를 묻고 있기 때문에 그걸 확실히 요약해주셔야 해요.
수고하셨습니다 :)