The number of people who decide not to have children
has increased greatly.
Do you think is a positive or negative development?
It is true that these days, a number of people
who choose a married life without children, and this situation has significantly
increased. In this essay, I will represent my personal opinion about this
situation and some reasons for my belief.
To begin with, one of the most severe
society problems is that the number of population, which leads an aged society.
There would be few people who can work and a large number of aging people who
need subsidies to live. This will affect young generation adversely. To care
senior citizens, it cost a lot of money, which is a strain to working aged
people because those care services will be support tax. Also, the medical technology
has developed these days, so an individual’s life will be longer than now. As a
result, people’s lifetime has extended, so young people would burden to take
care of many older people. (여기는 '긍정' 관해서 채워주시면 됩니다.)
On the other hand, this matter which many
married couples go for their lives without babies will have a positive effect on
their current life. This means that these These days, most people are surrounded by
their hectic schedule. If they have a baby, those people just work and rear their
children and have to should focus on their babies without their personal lives. This
leads people to not be satisfied with their own that people do not satisfy with individual’s life. In this regard, they
much prefer to live without children.
To sum up, the issue that the number of
people who do not have a child has rose could have a negative impact on the next generation
in the future. However, people can enjoy their life, if they do not have a baby,
so I believe that this phenomenon will be a positive development to citizens
significantly.
45분 걸렸어요,,,
총평: (5/6/6/6) 6.0
지금 논제는 ~가 과연 긍정적인지 부정적인지를 묻고 있습니다. 할로할로님은 결론에서 긍정적이라고 해주셨으므로, 본론에서도 긍정만 다뤄주시면 돼요. 이전에 말씀드린 후라이드 vs 양념 이론이 적용되는 사항이며, discuss both 유형과는 전혀 다르므로 주의해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)