The given graph gives information about how often people in the USA consume food in fast food restaurants in 2003, 2006 and 2013.l
In general, in three years the ratio of people who are ate in fast food restaurants 'once a week' or 'once or twice a month' accounted for the highest numbers proportion. Besides, The the percentages of people who ate once or twice a month showed the biggest change between 2003 and 2013.
On closer inspection, in 2003 the ratio of people who ate once a week and once or twice a month was 32% and 30% respectively, besides (바로 윗 문단에 같은 구조가 있기 때문에 웬만하면 수정을 권장드립니다.), in 2006 the ratio was 33% and 25% and finally in 2013, 28% and 33%. The sum of people who ate once a week and once or twice a month in each year was 62%, 58% and 61%, which was more than a half of the total.
In addition, the percentage of people who ate once or twice a month in fast food restaurants in 2003 was 30% and in 2006 it dropped to 25% and finally it increased to 33% which was the biggest increase.
목표 6.5
시간 18분
포인트잡기가 조금 어려웠습니다.. 항상 감사드립니다!
총평: (5/6/6/6) 6.0
현재 내용 분석이 너무 편중되어있는데, 그렇다고 문장 구조다 다양한 등의 장점이 있는 상황도 아니라 다소 아쉬운 글이 되어버렸습니다.
표 문제를 다룰 때 모든 사항을 고르게 다룰 수는 없고, 그래서도 안 되지만, 그렇다고 지금 글처럼 아예 두 개 항목 외 나머지를 왕따시키는 것 역시 좋은 선택지는 아닙니다. 나머지 항목들 중 충분히 분석으로써의 가치를 가지는 친구들도 있으니까 잘 활용해주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)