The chart illustrates the export revenue in various categories of products from 2015 to 2016. Right below is percentage change of the products between in 2015 and 2016, which showed by the table.
First of all, the conspicuous point is that most categories (이 글을 읽는 즉시 almost와 most의 차이를 구분해서 학습해주세요! 정말 많은 학생들이 틀리는 사항이라 이번 기회에 확실히 잡고가야 합니다.) almost category indicate the an increasing trend in exports in 2016 compared with 2015, apart from gems and jewellery. From among these, the biggest increasing width is showed in textiles with the figure of 15.24%. As a whole, however, textiles record the lowest export earning. The export earning of petroleum products which show the most revenue is more than double that of textiles both in 2015 and 2016. Agricultural products, the second least profitable showed a is 0.81% increase compared to 2015, with the smallest rate change. Next remarkable point is category of gems and jewellery. Interestingly, unlike the other items, export of earning decrease 5.18% during 2015 and 2016 in category of gems and jewellery.
Based only on the rate changes in 2015 and 2016, the most profitable item forward will textiles and the lowest profitable category will gems and jewellery. (Task1에서는 Overview라는 걸 적는데, 이때 그 Overview는 서론 밑으로 갑니다.)
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
문단 배분을 다시 해주셔야 합니다. 우선, 서론의 경우 그대로 두시면 됩니다. 그 다음 문단에서는 바로 세부적인 분석으로 들어가는 것이 아니라, 먼저 표에 대한 전반적인 포괄을 하는 Overview를 넣어주시면 되고요. 그 이후에 비로소 세부 분석으로 들어가시면 되는데, 이때 표1과 표2는 각각 다른 문단에 넣어주시면 돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)
감사합니다