Everyone should stay in school until the age of eighteen. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern society, whether or not students under eighteen should go to schools is a heated discussion. Some people think children ought to go to schools until eighteen while some people others think they do not need to. I think students need to go to schools to prepare before experiencing experience society and they still need protection. In this essay, the reasons of both opinions will be elaborated.
First, it has been a center of attention of public that the age of voting which have equal levels of adults to students. Most countries give to students to vote and this is that they can think mature like adults. As a result of allowing voting to the election, students do not necessary to stay in the schools. In addition, children who want to develop their own skills can leave the schools where teach academic knowledge that they do not need it. Students who choose to learn actual skills can go to the workplace and this can be practical and save time that they can earn money and useful skills. (대비되는 두 입장이 나왔다고 그걸 무조건 기계적으로 둘 다 다뤄서는 안 됩니다. 이에 대해서는 총평에서 링크를 하나 드릴게요.)
However, I think students should stay in school until eighteen to prepare for the real society before going the colleges or the workplaces and many schools already prepared how to deal with adults’ world. For example, some schools made a curriculum for students who want to learn skills and the institution tried to help students byadding communication or business courses not to fail in society such as adding communication or business courses. Also, students are still young to experience the harsh society so schools can protect them from the danger. For instance, if students did wrong such as committing the a crime, even though it is totally students’ fault, but schools can help them as by educating and supporting them to prevent from the recidivism.
To sum up, both views have each persuasive reasons but I think it is clear that students can get benefits if they stay in the schools until eighteen because they which can learn non-academic skills and get a support from the schools.
총평: (6/5/7/6) 6.0
위에서 말씀드렸듯이 대비되는 두 입장이 나왔다고 그걸 기계적으로 둘 다 적는 게 아니라, 논제의 발문이 요구하는 바에 따라 맞춰갈 수 있는 능력이 필요합니다. 지금 본론1의 경우 '18살까지는 있어야 한다' 는 또다른 내용으로 채워주시면 되고, 자세한 내용은 밑의 링크를 참고해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
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