The bar chart compares the number of people in five different cities in Australia in terms of coffee and tea buying and drinking habits percentage wise.
(제가 해드린 것처럼, 문단을 구분할 때에는 엔터키를 두 번 쳐주시면 됩니다.)
Overall, the percentage of citizens in Melbourne who went to a cafe for drinking coffee or tea in the last 4 weeks is the highest among five cities. While less Less than 50% of people living in Adelaide went to a cafe to have for having coffee or tea in the last 4 week period, which is the least among those cities. (Overview는 표를 최대한 넓게 포괄할 수 있어야 합니다. 그러나 지금은 특정 항목만 포괄하기 때문에 적절하지 않고요.)
Roughly over 40% of citizens living in Sydney and Melbourne bought fresh coffee in last 4 weeks. In contrast, only less than 40% of residents who live in Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart got fresh coffee in the last 4 week period.
While around 50% of people who live in Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobert and Melbourne bought instant coffee in last 4 weeks, the percentage of residents in Sydney who enjoyed instant coffee for the last 4 weeks is 5 percentage points lower than that of the aforementioned cities.
총평: (6/7/6/7) 6.5
6.5는 충분히 받으실 것 같네요! 물론 하나의 글만 가지고 판단할 수는 없고, 지금 아직 task2를 아예 보지 못한 상황이긴 합니다. 그러나, 중요한 어휘+문법이 깔끔하며, 여기서 점수가 결정됩니다. 그래도 남은 기간 동안 어휘 위주로는 계속 공부해주세요! 글에 대한 요령은(예를 들면 지금의 Overview) 제가 그때그때 체크해드리겠습니다. task2도 한번 올려보세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)