While it is often said that accepting a worse bad situation is
the best way, others insist that improving their situation seems more
realistic. However, I would contend that accepting their situation is more beneficial are more benefit
for people.
To begin with, there are a couple of main benefits of trying
to improve their (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상이 대명사로 쓰여서는 안 됩니다.) situations. First of all, learning diversity enables people to
broaden their perspectives. For example, trying new experiences are helpful for
people to live a better future. They can be exposed to different thoughts, ideas, and
lifestyle that they have never known before. This is because, they can interact
and socialize with new colleagues through the experience. Consequently, they
can take a quantum leap in intellectual growth and accept diversity which is important in the era of globalization. Moreover, changing their situations is a more constructive
way to escape from the harsh reality. To illustrate, if people can choose what
they want they can alleviate their stress. This bring a new solution to
perplexing and stressful problems at work.
On the other hand, accepting a bad situation is easier for
people than improve their situation. First and foremost, if people accept their
situation, they do not have to spend their time to concern about their future
life. In other words, they can save their time and energy to worry about their
life. Therefore, the level of health of people may increase. This is because,
they can have a time to do exercise in a the (관사는 그냥 참고로만 보세요~) gym. In addition, rapid social development
and modernization causing causes of the loss of their jobs. To be specific, nowadays the global
economy is unstable, thus if people change their job, they cannot expect their near
future life, and this causes them to stress out.
In conclusion, even though improving their skills is more
helpful for people, it is clear that people should accept their situation. Hence,
accepting their situation (바로 앞에 쓰인 표현이므로 가급적이면 대체해주시면 좋습니다.) is more positive impact on their future life.
총평: (7/6/6/6) 6.5
task1까지 고려하면 6.0으로 내려가겠지만, 그래도 이정도면 6.0은 충분히 받을 수 있습니다. 자잘한 사항들이 있었지만 너무 신경쓰실 필요는 없고, 대신 이정도의 글을 35분 내에 그대로 쓰실 수 있도록 연습해주세요! 이러한 실전 적응이 정말 중요합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)
(313 word) 6점 목표입니다. 감사합니다.