The line graph compares the percentages of workers in South Korea from 1981 to 2011 devided by into sectors.
Overall, it is clear that services had the highest employment rate over the 30-year period. Also noticeable thing is that the percentage of people who works in services surged gradually, compared to the proportions of workers in the other fields which were in a decline were in declined.
Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that there was a great increase in the employment rate of services from nearly 40 to 70 percent. The share of people who are in agriculture also grew steadly during the first 10 years, overtaking that for industry around 1986. However, since 1991, it has decreased considerably to (task1에서 to와 by의 의미는 천지차이입니다.) by approximately 10 percent by the end of the periond in question.The proportion of employment in industry started at nearly 30 percent, but there was a constant fall, reaching around 5 percent by 2011.
총평: (6/7/7/6) 6.5
철자 오류는 딱 이정도까지는 괜찮습니다. 물론 아예 없으면 금상첨화이지만, 여하튼 아무리 많아도 2~3개 이내로 끊어보세요! 그 이상으로 가면 조금 곤란할 수 있습니다. 그리고 to 와 by는 확실하게 구분해주셔야 합니다.
(참고로 by는 퍼센트포인트와도 연결되는 거라, 헷갈리고 싶지 않으면 아예 task1에서 by를 쓰지 않는 것도 하나의 방법입니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)
[22분 / 151단어 / 6.5 / 이번달 말]