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Some people in modern society argue that there are numerous ways to interact with people from different circumstances other than music. However, I firmly believe that music is the most effective method to link a different kind of people for several reasons. (여기에 culture, age의 두 단어가 들어가야 합니다.)
Firstly, as technology advances, countless gadgets have been invented such as a smartphone smart phone, computer and so on, which led lead a few group of people to be isolated from society. A certain group of people, especially elders, are vulnerable to rapid change. However, since music is the thing that anyone can enjoy and share, music enable anyone to communicate with each other regardless of age or nations. People are able to accept the opposite side The oppsite side of groups are able to accept another groups through their own music, because the lyrics and melody in music contains their own life-style and cultures.
Secondly, the reason why music is the easiest way of bringing various kinds of people together, is it is mainly because unlike direct conversation, it is relatively simple to understand various cultures by music without in-depth learning, which is such a descent chance for people from different culture. For instance, a number of foreign people tend to be well awere of Korean culture, because they enjoy listening to K-pop, which makes them to have better understanding of Korean culture without any studying.
In conclusion, even though music is an outdated way, it is undeniable fact that music is an irreplaceable way to interact while several methods in modern society are seen as a typical mean of communication.
40분 소요 251자
최종목표점수 7점이고 환경, 건강, 사회등등같이 자신있는 토픽이아니라 적절한 어휘나 고급어휘 활용하는데 애먹었네요ㅜㅜ
고오오오오급 어휘는 단 1도 중요하지 않습니다. 냉정히 따지면 고오오오급 어휘 활용하려가다 손해만 보는 경우가 더 많아요. 아무리 낮게 잡아도 7.5 이상에서나 중요합니다. 일단은 문법부터 잡는 게 우선시되어야 해요. 지금 글의 경우도 어휘 문제는 전혀 없습니다. 문법이 문제이죠.
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