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<Topic>
You should spend
about 20 minutes on this task.
The diagram below shows the
average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories.
(Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework
and gardening.)
Describe the information
presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown.
Suggest reasons for what you see.
You should write at least
150 words.
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The provided graph illustrates the
average hours of unpaid work per week done by 3 categories category groups. In general, it It seems
like the more children the couples have, the much more time married women work in
the home. As they have more children, the amount of housework time getting
increase. However (바로 앞에서 했던 말입니다.) Also, women are more dedicating their time than man.
Married women without children do unpaid work 30hours 30 hours of unpaid work without children on average while married men in same category do 19 hours of unpaid work
19 hours. With 1-2 children, women work twice more over than men in home. On
an average, women work third three times more than men for children, housework and
gardening when the couple has 3 or more children.
Married men are seems to do activities
for unpaid work at 18~19 hours per week on average. Men show similar
participation for housework from marriage to getting 1-2 children. However,
men are less participating on housework after the couple gets 3 or more
children recording 18 hours.
In
this graph, we can see the concentration of unpaid work on married women on
an average. Especially in case of raising many children in the home, there is
tendency that women dedicate their time for unpaid work. (위에서 했던 말입니다.)
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[ 196 words]
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Grammar
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Vocabulary
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Cohesion and Coherence
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Task Response
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6/9.0
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6/9.0
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6/9.0
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6/9.0
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총평: 표가 담고 있는 내용이 그렇게 많지는 않았기 때문일 수도 있지만, 여하튼 글에 비슷한 내용들이 계속 반복되고 있는 상황입니다. 이는 점수에 딱히 도움이 되지 않으며, 오히려 감점의 여지만 더 주기 때문에 주의해주셔야 해요. 지금처럼 표에 내용이 많지 않으면 어휘+문법에서 msg를 치는 식으로 글을 늘려야 점수에서 이득이 되며, 내용 반복은 아무 의미가 없기 때문에 참고해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)