기존에 서식이 나왔던 것 같은데 오늘은 보이지 않아서 그냥 작성해봅니다!
목표 점수 6이고 당장 26일 토요일이 시험이네요^^;
질문
Some employers believe that job applicant's social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
답변
I agree with this opinion. I have been thought believe that a job applicant's social skills are really important.
Actually, the work place seems like a sort of small society. So (문장을 and but so로 시작하는 것은 좋지 못합니다.) when we are involved in this society, we must face to lots of situations. Therefore, usually we need to work together with coworkers. We call this called it like 'teamwork'. Of course the academic qualifications are important as well. However without teamwork, we can not acchive the goal.
For example, at my workplace, we have professional teachers. However teacher A and B were usually argue with argued each other, because they have a totally different opinion in how to care about special needs children. Even though they both are good teachers, due to this endless arguement their classroom's atmosphere gone bad. Finally owner decided seperate these teachers.
According to my experience, I definately sure we need high-leveled social when we work.
With these skills we can reach to good conclusion when we face to problem and arguement. Also we can make good relationships with coworker. When we have good relationship with coworker, we can feel more comfortable at workplace. It makes improve our work skill and acchivement. This is why I think social skills are more importannt overweigh than academic qualification.
총평: (5/5/6/5) 5.5
밑의 task1은 그럭저럭 괜찮았지만, 현 task2의 경우 구조부터 다시 잡아주셔야 합니다.
일단 엔터키 사용부터 수정해주셔야 하는데, 문단이 구분될 때에는 엔터를 두 번 쳐주시고, 그 외의 경우에는 절대 엔터를 치지 않습니다. 지금처럼 아무때나 막 쳐서는 안 되고요.
문단은 총 4문단을 만들어주시면 되며, 서론-본론1-본론2-결론이 이에 해당됩니다. 구조화하자면,
서론
본론1
본론2
결론
과 같이 생기게 만들어주시면 됩니다.
또한 본론이 2개이므로, 근거 역시 두 개여야 해요. 지금은 근거를 하나만 적어주셨고 그거에 대해 예시를 불필요하게 길게 가시면서 문제가 되었는데, 예시는 최대한 짧게 끊어주시고, 이를 대신해서 또다른 근거를 넣어주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)