▶ Your Answer : Some professionals recommend that children start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. I think that there are more advantages for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school. I will discuss this topic using examples to help arguments and demonstrate opinions.
On the one hand, it could be more disadvantageous that children at primary school rather than secondary school begin learning a foreign language. Because it could be the situation that children at primary school have yet to don't<(formal essay에서는 contraction을 사용 안하시는게 좋습니다) still learn their mother tongue accurately and a foreign language could be difficult for children at primary school to understand it. <(sentence fragment.) For example, when I was in primary school, I found out that most of the students except minority in my class didn't understand English well and couldn't use it properly because of complicated grammar. Therefore, it is apparent that beginning to learn learning a foreign language at primary school could be more disadvantageous.
However, I agree that it is more advantageous for children at primary school to begin learning a foreign language. The earlier age children start learning a foreign language at, the better they could be at the language. According to a recent survey by an educational institution in my country, as children begin learning English at a younger age, they are more confident and have less resistance for English. Seeing the benefits that younger children get when they start learning a foreign language at a tender age, we can find out that it is more advantageous that children begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
To sum up, although children at primary school have less intellectual capacity to understand a foreign language, I believe that it is more beneficial for children to start learning a foreign language at primary school as the younger children are, the less resistance they have.
In the future, children should start learning a foreign language as soon as they enter a primary school. <(왜 이 문장이 conclusion과 따로 오는지 모르겠습니다)
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 다만 전체적으로 글 정리가 필요하고 informal한 표현에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 조금 더 다양한 표현을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |