Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In contemporary society, it is common to find people who prefer being self-employed to working for a company. There are divergent reasons related to this incidence, but I personally believe various government programs result in such situations. Needless to say, disadvantages can easily be found from being self-employed such as financial problems.
These days, it is acknowledged that a majority of people decide to start their own businesses instead of looking for a job that is already available from different companies. Various factors may cause their decision of being self-employed, but the key factor to the situation is due to a number of government programs that encourage people to do so. For example, the most effective way to solve the problem of high unemployment rates is subsidizing start up businesses so that it will increase more positions available for people who are jobless or who are unable to find the position they desire. This is indeed a helpful way to resolve issues related to high unemployment rates, providing more opportunities for citizens to pursue what they truly desire. However, it is undeniable that through such programs, people might tend to consider running a business before thinking about finding the work that is already available in the market. In addition, the image of people who are self-employed is overrated, which can lead people to think that it is better to take any risks that come from running a business than being an employee of a large corporation.
Nevertheless, when one wants to start a business, the dangers from it must be clearly understood before getting into it. ((((However, since there are various programs from the government that subsidize and support people to start their own businesses and because of the overrated image of self-employed people, the ones who are not fully aware of what they actually are doing open up their businesses without having a second thought.)))) (여기 괄호의 문장은 사실 그렇게 중요하지 않습니다. 실제 단점에 집중해주시는 게 더 좋아요.) This can lead them to go bankrupt quickly because running a business requires many skills such as managing financial problems, employees, and even time. As a result, it is not difficult to find businesses that close down, making people suffer from the failure.
To conclude, the main cause of people wanting to be self-employed is from government programs that encourage people to do so without informing its risks the risks of it. Therefore, it is evident that people are more likely to suffer from financial problems such as going bankrupt, as starting a business requires more skills than it actually seems.
총평: (7/8/7/8) 7.5
잘 써주셨습니다. 굳이 아쉬운 점을 찾자면 본론2에서 실제 단점이 부족하다는 점과, 본론1/2의 비중 차이가 크다는 점 정도가 되겠네요. 그래도 다른 부분에서 점수를 다 벌어가기 때문에 크게 문제는 없을 겁니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)