An interesting number of people today change
their career and place of residence several times during their life. Is this a
positive or negative development?
Some people are more likely to change their
career and place a few more times in their life while some are inclined to stick
to the only one place whether it is their job or place to live (이게 지워져야 뒤의 this 이하가 정당화됩니다.). I personally
believe that this can be a beneficial evolvement for some people because it
could make their beliefs and visions deeper and broader.
To begin with, with advanced technology and
transportation, many people have more increased job opportunities such as
working from home or a long-distance of the workplace, with advanced~~. (여기서 엔터는 따로 치지 않습니다.)
Because of this, a majority of young employees tend
to find a new career that would fit them more perfectly. By changing their career,
they could learn various skills and gain more work experiences. For example, according
to the survey conducted by one of the Korean major cooperations, more than half
of managers often regrets and reports to their company that should have gained different
work experiences in different work fields so that they can apply it for their
current tasks and issues.
Moreover, moving to a new place can be one of the
hardest challenges for many people since finding a decent place to live would
be really daunting. However, people who have changed their residence many times
would have a better sense of not only choosing new houses but also financial prospects.
More importantly, because of the economic recession in many countries, many
young people have difficulties with buying new houses and the experience of moving
from place to place can be helpful to make a wise decision on purchasing the first
house for them in their life.
In conclusion, although many people believe that work
at the same company and live in the same house would be more reliable choices,
life is short and young people should enjoy the moment of everyday life by
experiencing various work and living places.
총평: (7/6/7/7) 7.0
다른 부분이 깔끔했기 때문에 점수에 있어 크게 영향은 없지만, rainv님 실력이면 서론에 저거는 맞춰주셔야 합니다. 기계적으로 서론에서 양쪽의 입장을 다 소개하려고 하지 마세요! (심지어 이번 논제는 반대편 입장이 아예 나올 여지도 없습니다.)
수고하셨습니다 :)