It has been said that music is an opportunity for the different communities to can mingle. I strongly believe that music can attract is
attracting various people from different cultures and ages together. There are several
reasons to support this.
One of the main reasons why music is a good
way of bringing people together is that there is no need to undergo frustration
due to the lack of foreign language ability when they are traveling, which
might lead to a good opportunity to make international friends. For example, there
is highly likely to be a significant music venue on street, such as concerts, busks,
which is the ease of the access. According to the research conducted at Chungnam National University chungnam
national university in Korea, busks tend to attract many people and drive them
to dance regardless their cultural difference and ages. As a result of this, people
might be able to harmonize with each other without any language barriers.
Another principal reason why music excels
at gathering people is that music can evoke a nostalgic feeling, which might be
capable of forming the bond of sympathy with parents. For instance, now days nowadays there
are many audition programs where participant sing old songs. According to music
professors, old songs tend to bring about nostalgia. (앞에서 했던 말입니다.) This can be perceived that
children and parents can have common thing to talk about, being supported by the
fact that children are is highly like to be exposed and access to music due to
developed technology using their gadgets, such as phone, I-Pad.
In conclusion, Although there might be some
disagreements about music bringing various people together, I undoubtedly argue
that music unites different people over the world.
글자수 : 274
목표 : 6.5
항상감사합니다.
총평: (6/7/7/6) 6.5
어찌저찌 6.5에 맞춰지는 글이긴 합니다. 어휘가 깔끔했고 전반적인 구조도 잘 잡아주셨어요. 그래도 본론 두 번째 문단에서와 같이 의식적이든 무의식적이든 같은 말이 반복되어 쓰이지 않도록 주의해주세요!. A이다, 왜냐하면 교수님(혹은 기타 권위자)이 A라고 했기 때문이다~라는 논리전개는 분량 낭비입니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)