The line graph illustrates statistical
information about the percentage of workers in three different parts in South Korea
from 1981 to 2011. In general, the workers in services had the highest
proportion over the period.
In addition, the employment rate in service
sector have continuously increased between 1981 and 2011, while the rate of
people who worked in agriculture has decreased steadily and the figure of
workers in industry has fluctuated. Looking at the numbers closely, the employment
rates in services and industry had increased until 1991. However, while the
services’ employment rate kept increasing throughout the period, the workers in
industry decreased. (increase/decrease는 동의어가 정말 많습니다. 어차피 task1표 문제에서 계속 써야하는 단어이므로, 모범답안을 보시면서 동의어를 잘 익혀주세요!)
Furthermore, the figures of employment in
agriculture and industry were similar in 1981, 32% and 28% (여기 포함 밑의 모든 문장에서, 수치를 임의로 확정지어서는 안 됩니다. 대략~등의 표현을 써주셔야 해요.), respectively. As
the time went by, two figures slowly became far away from each other. In 2011,
the figures became 5% and 25%, which were different by 5times. Moreover, the
proportion of people who worked in services had the biggest gap between the
year 1981 and 2011, which were 39% and 69%. In contrast, the rate of people who
worked in industry had the smallest gap during the same period, which were 28% and 25%.
21분
단어 수: 189개
목표 점수: overall 7.0 each 6.5
총평: (6/7/6/6) 6.5
일단 '틀린 건' 거의 없었으며, 이것만으로도 6.5는 웬만하면 확보하실 겁니다. 대신 여기서 조금 더 욕심을 내자면, 표현, 그리고 문장 구조의 다양화에 신경써주시면 좋겠죠. 특히 위에 말씀드렸듯이 increase/decrease에 대한 동의어는 반드시 체크하고 넘어가세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)