New technologies have changed the way children
spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?
There
have been huge developments with new technologies in modern society. In
accordance with this trend, the way of children’s play is changing. People
argue that technologies bring advantages for children while others believe that it has other believes that
it have a bad influence. This essay will discusses the belief that new technologies
have positive effects to children.
These
days, there are many matters that adults should care and check outside. Unlike the to past, environmental pollution is serious, and especially in Korea, people always
check the level of fine dust. Therefore, the way children play has changed
naturally. Playing some games online are free from time or weather. For
example, if parents reserve a facility, they have to check the weather and be there
on time. However, children can enjoy games and contents through the device
regardless of when it should be or outside conditions.
Moreover,
children can approach a range of choices to enjoy their free time. They have
diverse videos which are very useful contents for their education while having
fun. They can learn subjects which children have interests easily by imitating
and playing. For example, children can mimic movement from YouTube so that they
can have healthy daily routine through the exercise. Also, children can discover
friends in any part of the world by using chat rooms and social networks, they
could meet various people online. As a result, the new technologies bring
positive effects to children.
In
conclusion, Children children can enjoy themselves without being tied to time and place,
and new technologies provide countless and high quality contents to children.
256자
목표 : 6~6.5
항상 감사합니다 :)
총평: (6/7/6/6) 6.5
분량이 살짝 아슬아슬한 면은 아쉽지만, 그래도 글 자체는 괜찮게 적어주셨습니다. children이 너무 자주 쓰이지 않도록 조금만 주의해주세요!
April님의 경우 이전에 비해 문법이 많이 안정된 것 같아서 다행이네요. 물론, 여기에서 만족해서는 안 되며, 시험 전날까지 문법은 꾸준히 해주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)