With today’s advancement in society, it is increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that feeling happy is the point of most deliberation in modern society. Despite despite of much responsibilities, it is sometimes argued that adult life is happier more happiness but (I는 이유불문 대문자로 쓰셔야 합니다. 다른데에도 다 바꿔주세요!) i would like to support this idea that childhood is the happiest time of most people’s lives.
On the one hand, there are arguements that adult life is happier more happiness than childhood. (여기서 엔터는 따로 치지 않습니다.)
One of the main reasons is that adults can work if they want or they need. For example, if adult want to go on a trip, they can work to earn money for their trip. Another reason is that adults do not need help from their parents. This means that they adult can decide about something theirselves. Although they need some responsibilities such as working hard, they can do anything they want.
On the other hand, in my view, i strongly feel that childhood is the happiest time of most people’s lives. The first reason is that teenagers have a vacation every years. Adults do not have enough vacation while but teenagers can rest almost three months during vacation every years. Moreover, adults who live alone have to worry about their budget like a rent fee, or insurance and even the cost of living but teenager do not get a stress for these things, they can just spend their time to study for their future.
In conclusion, for several reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that childhood has brought more happiness than adult life.
총평: (5/6/6/5) 5.5
조금 짜게 매기긴 했는데, 채점관에 따라 6.0까지는 아슬아슬하게 가능할 수도 있을 겁니다. 대신 지금 분량을 간신히 채웠는데, 이러면 실전에서는 분량 부족일 확률도 꽤 높아져요. 고로 안정적으로 270-300자를 써서 분량 걱정이 없도록 해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)