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Living in In this capitalism prevalent world, some people
believe that more time should be devoted~~ (이렇게 쓰시면 굳이 어색하게 ones 라는 표현을 안 써도 문장이 가능합니다.) ones should devote more time to work than family. However, I
strongly believe that people have to dedicate their life more to their families.
(제가 해드린 것처럼, 문단을 나눌 때에는 엔터키를 두 번 쳐주셔야 합니다.)
Meanwhile, dedicating Dedicating time to work seems a right thing to do
because having good financial status leads to a better quality of life. When
people commit to work more than private life, people will most likely follow a high-paying job, which guarantees more money. We are living in the world of
capitalism and more money lets people keep away from deficiency. For example, some
people put their purpose of life into making 6 figures salary and this is
considered as a successful life. Moreover, people tend to be appreciated by how
much money they earn in job markets. When we only see people as making money, it
is obvious that dedicating work is the most important thing in our lives.
Nevertheless, people should know that devoting their lives
to families is more precious. At the end of the day, what is important is
having families who always support and trust us. Families are roots that help
us go through hard times and also can be purpose of life. Hence, spending more
time with family is more important while bonding and making good memories. For
instance, there was a survey that asking old people about to be dead what they
are regretting the most, and many people said that they missed times to spend
with their families. (얘는 밑에서 말씀드리겠습니다.) This implies that we people find value in memories and
experiences with our families than how much money we have made till death dying.
In conclusion, it is unavoidable that people should dedicate
their life to work, because it will enable them to earn more money and increase
their quality of life. However, devoting one’s life to family activies should
be more appreciated as we people find value in having families around us with
unforgettable memories.
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