> > 2010-02-23 03:31:42, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ You should spend about 40 minutes on this task ■ Present a written argument or case to an educated reader no special knowledge of?the?following topic ■ You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant ???evidence ■ You should write at least 250 words | |
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Topic :
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. | |
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There exist tensions and conflicts all around the world, and the lack of patriotism is becoming a grave issue in many countries. Sporting events can affect this matter in several ways, whether positively or negatively. While some argue that it is waste of money and time to hold such events, others believe that it can bring peace and unity into the globalized world. This essay will be analyzing why popular sporting events can contribute to easing tensions and encourage people to love their own country in an aspect of unity and reminding people in a nation of their national identity.
Firstly, sporting events can offer chances for countries in all parts of the world to feel as a whole through big events, such as Olympics and the World Cup football match. As an example, when there is a big event like Winter Olympics, people cheer teams of their own country, talking about heroic athletes from all over the world. It will not only help think more of one's own nation but also make people much more interested in other countries, which can function positively to make the whole world more interrelated and cooperative. Thus, international sporting events help nations on our planet to be more aware of one another.
Secondly, it seems clear that people in a country will get to be more motivated to look back at their own country through these kinds of international festivals. When big events are held, it can be easily seen that many people gather around a TV set in public places rooting members of the national team in games. People may feel like that they are one whole identity wishing the same goal, thus feeling empathy with others. By creating firm ties through many events worldwide, much large population of a country can open the eyes for the previously unseen parts of their country.
In conclusion, International matches can not only contribute to arousing common interests across the world, but it also contribute to allowing more chances for local people to spend more time taking care of their own country. Therefore, big sporting events will play an important role in easing tensions and improving patriotism in a safer manner. | |
Writing 정말 어렵습니다. 2번 셤쳐서 둘 다 5.5
미쳐버릴 지경입니다. 쓰다보면 삼천포로 빠지네요..
첨삭 부탁드릴게요.. 감사합니다.
우선, 삼천포로 빠지시는 것(?) 만 잘 잡으시면 점수향상 있으실 거에요~
개요를 꼭 적어도 5분정도 구성하세요..
여기서 근거 1 2 만 구성하는 것 뿐만이 아니라
근거 1은 이렇게 전개해 나겠다는 구체적인 아웃라인 을 쓰시고(근거 2 역시)
이 아웃라인에 따라 글을 구성해나가세요..
그럼 삼천포로 빠지지 않습니다~
영어적인 표현보다는 어떻게 글을 논리적으로 전개해나가는지가 중요하니깐요~
이 부분만 잘 연습하시면.. 향상된 점수 받으실 수 있을꺼에요~~
화이팅!!