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It would be helpful
for people to use as much information as possible in diverse fields, but it is
true that there are involved rules and regulations that do not make use of them
freely because of some reasons. ('공유' 라는 의미를 더 직접적으로 드러내주셔야 합니다. 그래야 이후 문장, 그리고 더 나아가 글 전체 및 논제와 매끄러운 연결을 할 수 있어요.) I would like to discuss both points of views in the following text and
opinions are as below.
First, if a lot of
information is shared with many people, it could create a synergy effect. The
more people use information, statistically, the more possibilities that
effective or creative outcomes involved with the information which are invented by
people would occur. It is because relevant investments, research, and human
forces would intervene (부정적인 문맥에 주로 쓰이므로, 긍정적인 의미를 담을 수 있는 표현으로 넣어주세요.). By contrast, in a view of people who have a monopoly or
patient for specific information (환자의 특정 정보? 를 의도하신 건가요?), it would be unfair because they pay paid for that
to keep their ownership.
Secondly (앞의 문단과는 다른 맥락에서의 전개를 할 예정이므로, secondly 는 적절하지 않습니다.), some
information should not be shared freely because they might have to be protected or
secured. For example, in the case of that very old precious antics are being discovered in the deep ground, it would be a more effective way that the
relevant information is not opened to the people. ('왜' 그런지에 대해 작성하는 것이 핵심입니다. 앞의 문장만으로는 아무런 의미를 갖지 못해요.) On the contrary, if valuable information is
not opened to the people freely, it could result in a financial burden to them (이게 누구를 지칭하는지 명확히해주세요~). It is likely that there would be many people who want the information to
applicate apply to or develop their research or knowledge because that is they can be of significant
sources.
To sum up, it seems
that there are pros and cons of sharing information freely or not. When it is
shared with people, the synergy effect would occur, but it would be unfair to
some people who have their rights for them.
In addition Meanwhile, when it is not shared freely, the pros would be about
protections of information and the cons would be about the financial burden. (문단 내에 would 가 상당히 많이 쓰이므로 대체가 필요하겠죠.)
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