I feel the furtility of my life.
As a freshman in college, I am supposed to be the one who is full of dream looking for active relationship with people as well as seeking out opportunities given to me.
I'm not doing neither of those.
About having active relationship among people around me, I'm having a hard time with this issue.
I don't have a whole lot of friends, and most of them are either ones I kind of know and say hello to but don't ever hang out with or ones that are in need such as study-partners.
When I see a group of people (more than 4) hanging, I find myself avoiding the crowd and rather have my alone time.
Even when I make some friends, I tend to lose them because I don't put an effort to maintain the relationships due to not using my cellphone nor a facebook account (I deactivated it a year ago) to communicate with them.
though i used to be the one who gets along with people really well back in middle school, I've gradually became timid closemouthed.
I think this issue has to do with the environments I was in in past four years of my life.
I went to highschool in the united states for three years as an exchange student.
Each year, I happen to transfer to other high school, which sucks because I was making friends knowing
that they won't last as my friends for more than a year.
Repeating the same process three times, I ended up realizing that it is near impossible to make a best friend
who can be with me for a long time.
Same goes for falling in love. whenever I face with a special feeling towards a girl, I step back and think
It's meaningless to even start a relationship knowing I will be leaving to some place else.
I can keep whining more about myself but I wanna grab something to eat for breakfast first.
If you have a say, you can leave a comment below. I will also appreciate it if you can correct any grammar mistake.
hope you have a wonderful day today~