■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer

▶ Your Answer :

 Certainly, learning about a foreign country plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that the best way to learn about a foreign country is to read newspapers and magazines from there, while others do not. Both sides have their own reasons to support their ideas. If I would choose one, I would say that reading newspapers and magazines is not the best way to learn about a foreign country. There are a reason as follows.

 To begin with, reading internet news instead of newspapers or magazines enables to understand other countries easily. Internet news has have many functions that make people work efficiently and accurately. When these functions are well used, it is likely to bring a better result in performance. For example, my youngest brother had to submit a report about Chinese eating culture. To promote his knowledge about China, he used to prescribe in Chinese newspapers. He had difficulty in understanding well its culture because he was not good at speaking Chinese, and he had to wait a long time that is needed to receive the newspapers because it was sent from China. He even felt angry on his assignment. However, he has felt easy on writing his tasks after he started to use google news. With the internet, he was able to get access to a wider range of Chinese traditional food. He could gain more precise information about various Chinese cuisine because google translated Chinese into English automatically. Moreover, he could spend less time on searching the articles because he just needed to click once. Finally, he could finish his assignment successfully, and he was able to get A on his report. Without internet news, he would have fallen behind.

 All things considered, I strongly believe that using internet news is better than reading newspapers and magazines with respect to learn about a foreign country for the reason I mentioned above.

Fair: 17~23

점수: 21

전반적으로 바디가 너무 장황합니다. 간결하게 본인의 의사를 전달 하는게 더 중요할 거 같습니다. 또한 독립형 에세이의 일반적인 구조는 바디를 2개 사용하는 것입니다. 하지만 이 에세이는 바디 하나를 장황하게 서술하였습니다. 장황하게 서술 하는 것보다는 이유를 2개 들어서 간결하게 본인의 주장을 명시하는게 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다.