Is it more important to be able to work with a group of people on a team or to work independently? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
인트로가 없습니다. 첫번째 바디의 메인포인트와 근거를 간략하게 요약하여 인트로를 작성해주세요!
To begin with, working with others as a team is a more efficient way than working alone, so it is more important to be being able to work with other people. (이 부분은 글에 대한 주장이라기 보다는 동의에 대한 표현에 지나지 않으므로 메인포인트로 두기에는 어렵습니다) People' ability abilitiy when they are alone is quite limited and weak, but if they gather and cooperate, they would finish many tasks so quickly and the quality of work would be a lot enhanced. It is applied to work too. If people communicate and work together for the same goal, they are going to create a better outcome than people who work independently. Therefore, it is more significant to be able to work with others than being able to work independently. To affirm my statement, here is an example of my childhood. When I was a middle school student, I was someone who solved assignments from my teachers with my friends In other classes, because I thought it would bring higher scores. Every time, me and my friends, my friends and I, who solved assignments together, received higher scores than an average score without noticing being noticed by teachers. If I finished the assignments on my own, the scores I could receive would be lower and I would spend more time on that.
On top of that, people have to socialize whenever they could, so being able to work with others as a team is better than working by alone. People have to form many relationships with others to succeed in this recent society since, as I said above, people are able to achieve much greater things by cooperating with others. However, working with other people provide the opportunity of making intimate relationships with our co-worker, since it requires us to contact many people unlike working by alone. Hence, people who are able to interact with others in work is better than others only able to work by alone. For example, when I was a university student, I took a Korean history class lecture and it the teacher gave the students taking it many group projects assigned many group projects to students. I first considered it as very annoying thing because I hated to suffer from an awkward silence when I meet people who I have not met. However, my thinking way bias was reversed after I made some intimate relationships with my group member. My group member and I often hung out and gave many bits of help one another to each other. Also, my best friend, who took an architecture course, often said that she was jealous of me I am jealous to you making a lot of friends after taking took a Korean history lecture since the architecture course gave their students only a solitary project. What I mean by this is that we can get many benefits from our relationships and which is formed often when we meet others for working together in our company life. However, if we are only able to work by alone, this chance will not frequently come to us, so this is the reason why we should be able to talk and work with others
To sum up, we can more efficiently work with our co-workers. Also, we are offered more chances to interact with other people. In this regard, I believe that being able to work with others as a group is more important than work done independently.
Weak |
Limited |
Fair |
Good |
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Grammar(문법) |
글을 문법에 맞게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
O |
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Word Choice(어휘선택) |
상황에 맞는 정확한 단어가 구사되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Syntactic Variety(표현의 다양성) |
같은 표현을 반복하지 않고, 다양한 어휘를 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Idiomaticity (관용표현 활용) |
사전적 의미를 담고 있는 단어들 이외의 표현들을 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Sentence Structure (문장구조) |
효율적 표현을 위해 안정된 구조의 문장을 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Flow(문맥의 흐름) |
문장들간의 비약이 심하거나 처짐 또는 반복이 없는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Content |
Weak |
Limited |
Fair |
Good |
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Explanation(설명) |
Thesis나 topic sentences같은 main idea들을
얼마나 이해하기 쉽게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Exemplification (예시) |
Topic sentences와 관련된 example을 얼마나 설득력있게 풀어냈는지를
판단합니다. |
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O |
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Coherence(일관성) |
글이 주제에 맞게 전개됐는지, main idea들간의 연결이
잘 되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Overall Organization (전반적 구성) |
서론, 본론, 결론
등 글 전체의 구조와 main idea들이 잘 어우러져 있는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Overall |
13 |
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comments:. 글의 인트로와 컨클루전은
바쁘시더라도 꼭 정성스럽게 작성해주세요. 문법적인 부분에 대한 오류도 꼭 검토가 필요합니다. 또 용이한 채점을 위해서 문단별로 글을 작성해주세요. 고생하셨습니다^ㅇ^ |