▶ Your Answer :Some people say, the yesterday is only a yesterday. (Clarify the meaning) It is commonly discussed on in articles, that future technologies will drive the world
to a perfectly different stage. However, thought it seems quite different, the
future often repeats the past. In my opinion, studying about the history of ourselves
is critical to succeed on our present and future. First, some events are repetitive, or share
common features. A similar problem that happened in the past might shows up again
in the remote future, and even their solutions resemble each other. For
example, the worldwide financial crisis caused by the outbreak of COVID-19
assimilates the case happened in 2008. All the stocks price temporarily fall fell down through a
deep depression, and ride on a slow U-curve.(Unclear meaning) If we had enough knowledge of the
past, then the latter crisis could be a great opportunity of financial success.
At least, it could help us escape from falling into the crisis ourselves.
Next, despite the fact that technological
improvements are shared among the societies, the overall chronological transformation
depends on the structure of a group, not on the functionalities it has.(Clearly explain it) For
example, the structural transformation of Korea and Japan are similar, with around
10 years difference. This is based on populational structures of both
countries, which resemble each other in 10 years aside.(What is 10 years differences?) Both countries went through
the identical population curve, which has an explosive growth stage, a slow-steadily
increasing stage, and a decreasing stage due to a shrinking shrinked number of born babies
and an increasing number of elderly old population. It is commonly spoken that problems Japan is
facing nowadays will happen in Korea 10 years later. Hence, comprehending the things
happening in the past of Japan will help coping with the problems would arise
in Korea in the future.
In conclusion, studying the past of ourselves
often gives hints of the future. Therefore, I think it is crucial to comprehend
the yesterday.
점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- yesterday 앞에는 한정사가 붙지 않습니다.
- stock 보다는 stock price가 더 자연스럽게 매치됩니다. - 과거형 예시에서는 현재형 사용을 하지 않도록 유의하여 주세요. - 현재의 covid virus 사태와 2008년에 발생한 특정 event와 어떤 문제가 비슷하고 어떤 해결사항이 비슷한지 구체적으로 언급하여 주세요. - 10 years difference에 대하여 상세히 밝혀주세요. - 다양한 어휘 사용이 좋은 편입니다.
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