▶ Your Answer :
How do you feel when you help someone and the person truly feels thanks to you? (TOEFL 에서는 구어체/질문 사용 지양해주세요) When a person helps the other and receives a sincere gratitude, the person might feel inner peace and happiness. Also, the person who got some help will feel grateful as well. Therefore, it is very helpful for students when the school requires them participate volunteer works in a college.
First of all, mandatory volunteer work is beneficial for students since they learn helpful attitude and experience how to support others. Nowadays, the society is becoming more competitive, and learning how to spare time and devote to others in a real world become virtually impossible. By participating volunteer services like charity events at school, college students could learn humanitarian way of thinking before they jump to real society they face. For instance, personally, I have changed my mine after I finished mandatory voluntary program held by my college. I was reluctant to participate at the first place because the work sounded like extremely demanding, and I was not able to find any connection with the work and myself. However, the program turned out to broaden my perspective after I met tons of people who desperately needed my help. Although my body got tired, I was able to appreciate the value of committing myself to a local society and neighborhoods. Therefore, it is necessary for every students to have equal opportunity to experience this feeling. (구체적으로 자원 봉사에서 어떤 활동을 해서 이런 도움을 주는 기쁨을 느끼고 구체적으로 학습한 helpful attitude는 어떤 것이 있는지 작성해야 합니다: 앞서 이유에서 mention된 내용과 연결지어주세요)
Second, it is also good for the community (어떤 방면에서 좋은지 작성해주세요) Students are young and passionate. Their major and specialization are all different which make them to have a wide range of abilities. Local society has their own problems which could be effectively cured by these enthusiastic youths. Community spends a lot of budget in order to get rid of these problematic matters. According to the research conducted by Association of Public Administration (APA), average 25% of local budget were drove into the social welfare, which could also be replaced by volunteer working. Also, the following study indicates that the volunteer activities of young people could reduce one third of social work budget expenditure that was initially put into the sector. Government could invest on better businesses beneficial to the students who served for the local. Mandatory volunteer works is eventually good for the place where they live in.
For these reasons, I strongly support the idea to allow college students to participate on mandatory volunteer works. In short, the way allows college students to catch two rabbit at once.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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