▶ Your Answer :
People’s intellectual, social and personal development is highly
influenced by their flexibility. With this understanding, I believe that to be
successful people, it is important for them to be open to new ideas and willing
to change their minds for two essential reasons. This is because it enables
people to broaden interpersonal skills and enjoy a better quality of life.
First, being open to new ideas and changing mind
enable people to broaden interpersonal skills. Understanding the importance of social
skills in working environments and the potential role of accepting new ideas is necessary
to substantiate this view. I engaged in a variety of academic studies during my
university and graduate school years. In addition to my major, I was interested
in listening to new ideas. (What is that?) When they were acceptable, I usually changed my
minds. This was extremely useful in helping me to broaden interpersonal skills
for later years in society. In one situation, I joyfully continued talking with
my clients who had a lot of new ideas after meeting. I showed them how much I
was impressed by the ideas and changed my mind. (Suddenly mention the "Meeting?") They were pleased to see how I
reacted to their opinions. In this regard, I learned that opening to new ideas
and changing mind enable people to broaden interpersonal skills.
Second, being open to new ideas and changing mind
enable people to enjoy a better quality of life. Interestingly, a renowned
social scientist in South Korea published an article in “The Korean Herald”
last Tuesday which claims that accepting new ideas and changing one’s mind
enable people to strengthen competitiveness in society. The article claims that
62 percent of 200 Korean leading recruiters prefer people who are open to new
ideas and willing to change their minds. Recruiters show such a tendency
because they tend to be more creative. In the long run, creativity enhances
work performances. This is because accepting a lot of new ideas provides people
to create something new that others have never thought about. (How does this relate to the better quality of life? It's quite far from the thesis) This not only
results in job promotions but also to encourage them to ultimately enjoy a
better quality of life.
To sum up, I believe that to be successful people, it is important
for them to be open to new ideas and willing to change their minds for the
following reasons: to broaden interpersonal skills and enjoy a better quality
of life. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for
the reasons I have mentioned above.
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 16-18 | - 글이 자연스럽게 연결되지 않고 상황전환이 갑작스럽습니다. - Listening to new ideas? 어떤 class라고 명시해주어야 더 이해가 쉬워질 것 같아요. - 두 번째 논지는 바로 연결되지 않고, 여러가지의 과정이 필요로 한다음 better quality로 이어지는 것 같아요.
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