▶ Your Answer :
Various
opinions may exist over the argument that people should make sure that others
know their strengths and accomplishments in order to succeed. As far as I am
concerned, I am in complete agreement with the argument. The two ideas stated
below can be valid evidence to support my view.
To
start with, people should know their strengths and weak point because this is
very important to success. Since we cannot succeed ss at first time, and we should
develop ourselves gradually and try to accomplish our goals. In this sense, knowing
ourselves about strengths and accomplishments enables people to learn more and
cultivate their talents. People nowadays are living in a meritocracy where people
who continuously improve themselves can survive. Consequently, many people
suffer physically and mentally from the thought that they have to succeed ss rapidly
and highly competitive environments. In the long run, people cannot but miss
chances to delve into numerous issues for self-improvement. This explains why it
is better for people to know better themselves in honing potential that could
have been overlooked. Therefore, achieving goals step by step by improving our
strengths and making up weak points is crucial factor for success.
On
top of that, achieving other people’s recognition is important for everyone
because that has been traditionally accepted as the measurement of one’s
success or social status. As a standardized measurement used for one’s ability,
people’s recognition is considered an authentic reflection of one’s achievement.
As different people hold different understandings of success, assessing the
amount of one’s exploit has become universally accepted as a rule to measure
one’s success. For example, a A research conducted by Seoul National University
of Korea, more than 70 percent of respondents answered that they were strongly
influenced by other people’s acknowledgement of their achievement since they could
gain strength to go on, and got back on track when they were exhausted. They
also responded that they could achieve their goal gradually by experiencing
trial and error and could not give up because of others who gave them strength.
To
sum up, I believe my explanations above sufficiently prove the advantages of
knowing their strengths and accomplishments. Obviously, the significance of
developing one’s talents and receiving other’s acknowledge cannot be
overemphasized enough.
Fair/ Good (20-24) 첫번째 본문 -succeed동사 success명사 사용 잘 구분해주세요. -to부정사--> to+동사 -내용이 off-topic 입니다. 자신이 자신의 강점을 아는 것이 아니라 다른 사람이 자신의 강점을 아는 것에 대한 토픽입니다. 본인이 본인의 강/약점을 인지하고 발전하는 것은 글의 메인 토픽과 관련이 없습니다.
두번째 본문 -대소문자 오류 -acknowledgement명사 acknowledge 동사 -내용 괜찮습니다.
토픽에 맞는 내용 써주시는 것이 중요합니다.
수고하셨습니다~~
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