▶ Your Answer :
There has been an argument regarding the issue of whether it
is the best way to travel with tour guide or not. Some people maintain that traveling
with tour guide has ve more benefits. However, from my perspective, planning and
taking a trip own myself is better, in terms of the economic reasons and the possibility
of various experience.
To begin with, people traveling without tour guide will help
them to save money. Employing tTour guide requires them a lot of guidance fee
and attracting them to buy unnecessary monumental items. Such a behavior is
likely to force them to spend on unnecessary money. For instance, my parents and I both
traveled to Japan separately at the same period. However, when my parents traveled
to Japan with a tour guide, they had to spend traveling cost as much as twice
than I did. This is because they needed to pay for guidance fee and trip course
was made up of plenty of shopping luring them to buy items. So they would not
be able to avoid consuming a lot of money. Such an example clearly depicts that
leading by tour guide is more costly.
In addition, when people make a plan to travel by oneself,
it allows them to experience something different from formal traveling. It
gives them a chance to experience what they would want to visit that tour guide
cannot provide. When people are planning by oneself, it tends to provide more
valuable memory. For example, when I went to New-York with a tour guide, I did not
get any impressed memory. Because tour guide often led to me a popular place
where I was already familiar with intimidate. So the traveling was so bored to me. However,
when I went go to second traveling to New-York planning by myself, I was would be able
to visit where I really want to go. So I was able to get a lot of valuable
memory. Without devoting time and effort to plan for my traveling, I would not have been be able to get an impressed
memory.
In a nutshell, my contention is that traveling without a tour
guide is better way to travel. This is because people can save their money and
they can have a unique experience. All in all, the way of traveling without
guide cannot be overestimated to pursuit of improving personal satisfaction of
traveling.
Good (24-25)
첫번째 본문 -세번째 줄에서, to force 같은 강요하는 단어/표현이 나와야 이해에 도움이 됩니다. -끝에서 네번째 줄에서, A as much as B는 B만큼 A도 라는 뜻으로, 문맥상 적합하지 않습니다.
두번째 본문 -단/복수 동사 변형 -intimidate은 위협하다의 뜻입니다. 익숙하다는 used to/familiar with 등등 써주세요. -However 뒤에서는, 과거이므로 go-->went, would be-->was 로 바꿔주세요. -끝에서 두번째 줄에서, 더 디테일한 설명해주셔야 글의 모호함을 피할 수 있습니다. -같은 줄에서, 가정법은 would have p.p 형태로 씁니다. 전체적으로 내요 괜찮습니다. 문장력/문법 연습해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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