▶ Your Answer :
The reading and the lecture both
talk about alternative energy, commonly known as wave farms. The reading states
that there are three reasons that why the new energy is beneficial. However, the
lecturer argues that the reasons given in the reading are not convincing and
that not everyone agree with those arguments. First of all, the reading states
that because they make use of waves that are constant and predictable, it is
possible to accurately predict the generation capacity of a wave-power
facility. On the contrary, the lecturer argues that the statement is false.
this This is because this new technology is easily broken breaks down and it which is an ongoing
issue. For example, because converters malfunction so often, so the amount of
power generated tends to fluctuate wildly.significantly. Next, in the reading, the author
argues that wave-energy facilities have been proven to be environmentally
friendly. In contrast, the lecturer claims that the this notion is erroneous. The reason
for this is that this equipment also contain harmful chemicals and which they can
damage the ocean ecosystem. Also, she goes on to say that these substances are very
toxic and be are able to move freely on in the ocean, so they may have an effect on marine
organisms.
Finally, the reading goes on to
explain that wave farms don't have any negative impact on the natural beauty of
the surrounding landscape. (unclear합니다. 더 구체적으로 어떤 면에서 안좋은지 설명해주세요.) appearance of the environment in terms of sceneries. On the other hand, the professor, in her lecture,
asserts that the idea does not make sense. This is because that they have negative
effect on surrounding scenery. This is because, they usually are painted by
bright colors and are easily spotted by tourists from nearby beaches. reading 주장은 패러프레이징을 거의 안했고, 첫번째 본문에서 렉쳐 일반적 진술?의견 표현 하는것을 놓쳤고, 들렸던 예시 두개를 넣었습니다. 이 두가지가 얼마나 감점이 되는지 궁금합니다. 항상 감사드립니다.
[Score]
23-24
[Feedback]
- Paraphrasing을 안했다면 아마 한 3점을 깍길 것 입니다. 이 에세이 쓰는 팥ㅡ 체가 학생들이 얼마나 잘 이해하고 단축시켜서 써머리를 할 수 있는가를 보기위해 만든 라이팅 파트인데 써머라이징을 안하면 점수가 깍길 수 밖에 없겠죠?
- 그리고 짧게라도 conclusion이 필요합니다. 전체적으로 써머리한 간단한 문장이라도 써주세요.
- 명사가 나오기 전에 관사를 붙여주세요. Ex. the ocean
- 글의 흐름은 매우 자연스러웠습니다.
- "claims" "argues" "suggests" 이런 표현들이 나올 경우 꼭 that을 다음에 붙여주세요. Ex. The author claims that~, The lecturer suggests that~.
수고하셨습니다~ |