▶ Your Answer :
These
days, people’s lifestyles are various and they live more different than in the
past. Some people think that they prefer to live in a rural place, but I
personally prefer to live in urban cities. The two ideas below can be a valid
evidence to support my view. First, I want to reduce my commute distance to
school. And second, I want to live more convenient.
To
begin with, I want to reduce my commute distance when I go to school. I usually
take a bus and subway to go to my university. It may take 40 minutes to go to
school. Some people say that it takes less time but I often felt tired in public
transportation. So, I do not don’t want to take much longer time than now. If I live
in rural or small town, I cannot use this transportation easily. For example, intervals
of bus running might be longer than big cities. Therefore, I want to live in a
big city which is Korean capital, Seoul.
Secondly,
I want to utilize city’s infrastructure. In a big city, there are a lot of
infrastructures such as movie theaters, public transportations, government
offices, and so on. If I live in a developed city, I can utilize these as long
as I have money. For example, I usually go to watch movies when I have a free
time or I meet my friends. And when I move to some place, I always take public
transportations. Also, if I have a problem with my identity such as making a
passport, get a job, etc., I can go to a city hall quickly. I also can go to a
convenience t store in the middle of the night. Therefore, I cannot can’t give up the
convenient infrastructure so and I do not want to live in a small or rural town.
In
conclusion, I cannot live without convenient infrastructure. But some people
prefer to live in rural place doing rice farming and cultivating some grains. I
think it is not fit to me, yet it is also right for them. Thus, I prefer to
live in a big city, but this problem depends on person. So, they should decide
themselves individually.
Good (24–26)
첫번째 본문 -축약형 지양해주세요. don't-->do not -비교급 longer
두번째 본문 -편의점: convenience store -축약형 지양해주세요. can't-->cannot -마지막 문장에서, 선호도 질문이니, I do not want to 가 더 자연스러운 표현입니다.
전체적으로 내용 괜찮습니다. 문법/표현 실수들 연습해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
|