▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that a teacher should focus only on conveying knowledges
to students. However, in my opinion, making good relationships with students is
much more important than that. It is because the bond from bond the teacher forms with students is pretty
helpful for both students’ mentality and their study.
To begin with, so many media
which can provide knowledges appeared nowadays. By the Internet, between them, we can
get still more various and expert information from different academic studies easily compared to the past. In this
generation, traditional teacher’s role, the deliverer of the knowledge, does not have much importance due to these development of technologies that transfer information. that is teaching information not so
counts. In contrast, the number of in-depth relationships among individuals are decreasing in our society. Because the society makes individuals to be separated more and more, the close
relationships without purpose is hard to be built; in this case, teachers should put effort to let students learn about this type of relationship in school. If students
experience a strong bond in their teenagers, it would be helpful for them to form a healthy and stable character. What’s more, Because they would learn about the importance of the relationships, they will pursue them in society after they
graduate, creating the value of trust and healthy interaction among individuals. Then it will promote making stable society full with bond. + 이를 뒷받침하는 예시가 부족합니다.
On the top of that, the connection with teacher encourages students’
academic works, too. First, it strongly motivates students to study. It is not
hard to find that students do their works more faithfully when they like the
subject’s teacher. Apparently, a teacher who makes them study spontaneously is
greater than who just deliver information. Also, as previously stated, because
good connection gives stable life to students, they can focus on their academic
works. + 이를 뒷받침하는 예시를 제시해주세요.
To sum up, the main fact making teacher a better
leader than other media is their ability to connect with their students and
communicate with them. Because this encourages students to not only improve their academic ability but
also enhance their mental and social ability of students, I strongly argue that making
connection with students is a lot more important than being experts in their
fields for teachers.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
LIMITED
|
LIMITED
|
LIMITED
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
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