▶ Your Answer :
Can you trust machine? These days Machines are getting smarter and smarter these days. (Can you trust machine? 질문 등 구어체는 TOEFL에서 사용을 지양해주세요) However, the reliability of the machine still needs to be tested. Even though robots could replace certain tedious and simple types of activities, they cannot substitute human's intellectual abilities, such as solving various kind of unexpected problems and being creative to improve a function.
First of all, machines cannot solve unexpected problems. Therefore, they are always vulnerable to be halted suddenly. Humans cannot be replaced since they are the only one who could fix these problems. The current technology is not enough yet to allow machines to have an ability to adjust themselves to resolve the matter, it might be extremely expensive. For example, when virus is activated in a computer, the whole system would be stopped at once. According to the research conducted by the Organization of Labor Productivity, labor done by machines were fast in speed, but the level of completion was not perfect. accurate and reliable. 73% of factory managers in high technology industry responded to the questions within the research that they regret implementing automatic machines and conveyer belt in some areas since the number of errors decrease the work efficiency; these errors are often solved by personnels in charge. (왜 자동화를 후회하는지, 그리고 이 내용이 어떻게 주제와 연관되는지 작성해주세요) Plus, he mentioned that most of the parts (어떤 part인지 가리키는 대상이 불분명합니다) have virtually no difference between machine and human in terms of productivity. This study proved that using machine actually costs more than people generally believe due to the cost caused by correcting the errors and solving systematic problems of the machines. (사람이 아닌 기계 에러임을 강조)
Second, human labor is much more creative. In other words, we the people know how to improve and maximize the productivity and profitability instinctively. Unlike machines following orders passively, people are active in terms of creating new ideas. For instance, when I was arranging files of information data files to find a target customer and advertisement strategies that my company had to concentrate, I first used computer program which specialized in this area. However, it was expensive and created tedious and predictable strategies. (컴퓨터가 창의적인 생각을 할 수 없는 한계가 있음을 writing에서 증명해주세요) What I wanted was an eye-opening proposal. Unexpectedly, one of my employees brought up some drastic and untraditional idea which is completely new in this market. The solution he/she suggested turned out to be very effective. Its significance become even greater compared to tedious answers given by the machine.
To conclude, for these reasons, (어떤 이유인지 구체적으로 요약해주세요: 2~3문장) I firmly believe that it is better to work by hand than machine because human are way more smart and creative.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR | LIMITED
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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