▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that application of a subject is not necessarily needed for students when they learn the subject. However, in my opinion, such explanation would be of big help for them to have an interest and understanding about the subject or the key concept of it for two following reasons. To begin with, students are likely to have interest in a subject when they can approach its practical usages in the real world because such method helps them to well understand its difficult and abstract aspects more effectively. It is important in that most students often give up the subject when they feel helplessness in understanding it. Imagine a student who have to learn the physics. The subject is so difficult because most of the concepts in it, such as the gravity or the Newton’s action-reaction law, are abstract and invisible. These concepts are not likely to be absorbed to students easily because they cannot be directly observed by their naked eyes. However, they would be able to learn about them when they learn about how the concepts are relevant with them in the reality. Specifically, they would understand the gravity if they listened that fruits are fallen to the ground, not the sky, because the gravity drags them to the core of the Earth. On top of that, they can feel that a subject can be fun when they are able to find its application on the reality. To explain, if a teacher taught teaches its the real usages in the world we live in, students would have interest on in it, and can be motivated to search similar applications in near themselves (의미가 vauge합니다. 정확히 무엇을 전달하고자 하는지 모르겠어요). As a result, it can be continued to passion to study more about the subject. For example, I experienced similar situation when I was an elementary school students. At first, I hated math because it did not seemed to me not to be related to with my life directly. I thought that it was not necessary for me to live in this world(살 이유가 없다는건가요..?ㅎㅎ명확하지 않은 표현을 삼가주세요~). However, before long, my teacher taught me that how the math could be used in the world by explaining an example of a market. I learned how to use addition and subtraction principle by counting the sum of expenses in a grocery store, and I became to like the subject by applying these principles for my life by myself. To sum up, learning about concrete applications of a subject helps students understand its abstract concept, and find some enjoyment in studying it. In this regard, I firmly believe that students have to learn a subject through its practical usages in the world where they live in.
[Score] 24-25 [Feedback] - 우선, 글의 구조나 topic sentence 등은 좋습니다. 그러나 기본적인 문법적 오류가 조금 있고 (ex. 시제/ 단수와복수 등), 명확하지 않은 표현들로 글의 이해도를 떨어뜨립니다. 이러한 부분을 improve시켜준다면 더욱 높은 점수가 나올 것으로 기대됩니다. - 또한, supporting idea나 예시에 있어서 조금 더 디테일한 묘사가 있으면 좋을 것 같네요. (ex. 물리과목의 application에서 사과 예시를 든 것은 조금 단순한 느낌이 있었습니다.) |